Child: “Hey dad, I’m [insert a cool name you’d like to have called here]”
Dad: *struggles to keep his mouth shut* “Hi…. [cool name you’d like to have]… *struggled breathing* …. I’m *gulps* … dad.”
The curse has been broken. You are now who you’ve always wanted to be. You embrace your newfound identity, free from the paternal tyranny that ruled with an iron grasp of the dadjoke.